30 Sep From Silence to Violence: An Analysis of the OEM Black Series Exhaust
Today, we’ll do a thorough, statistical analysis of the OEM exhaust system on the Black Series, looking for points of improvement and critiquing the OEM setup.
The Black Series exhaust is pretty straightforward directly from the factory. After the headers, the entire exhaust is easily accessed for both removal and documentation purposes. So let’s dig in, shall we?
First, we’ll start at the back by the diffuser, the main piece of the exhaust that everybody sees. And trust us, given how fast this car is out of the factory, everybody should only ever be seeing these tailpipes. But there’s one problem — they’re stock. And they’re ovals. And everybody knows that ovals are not only a terrible shape for exhaust flow (there is no scientific basis behind that assertion), but they’re also too commonplace on AMG motors to be seen as hints that something wicked is happening under the body of the Black Series. So, they’ll have to go. Goodbye.
Next, we get to these weird round things before the oxygen sensors. These things have been puzzling us ever since we started building exhaust systems. What are they? What do they do? Why make such a bulbous malignancy appear in the middle of such a nice, straight exhaust system? They must be messing with how the oxygen sensors should be working. So, since we have no idea what they are or how they function, let’s just get rid of ’em in the new design. That sounds good to us. Screw those things.
And now we have — wait — even more of these oddly shaped thingamajigs?! What is happening here?! They obviously don’t do anything, if Mercedes needs to put four of them in the system. We’re so glad to have found this engineering oversight that Affalterbach obviously missed. Millions of dollars in R&D and they’re still slipping up from time to time. Oh well, everybody’s human. Let’s just do like we are going to do with the front bulb-ball-thingies and cut them the eff out of our new design.
H-pipes? H-pipes?! That’s just goofy. If only there were a more appropriate x-shaped solution. We don’t know what you’d call something like that though, so we’ll gladly take some suggestions as to how to go about naming the x-shaped h-pipe. One of them isn’t even welded all the way around! Silly German engineers.
And that about sums up our expert analysis of the CLK Black Series’ OEM exhaust system. Obviously we’ll be running an onion-shaped-bulb-free, x-shaped h-pipe setup that should produce approximately 1 to 3 extra horsepower for this seriously sick vehicle.*
*Disclaimer: Yes, we know they’re catalytic converters. Yes, we know it’s called an x-pipe. Yes, we’ll be putting down a lot more than 1-3 horsepower with our FMU bespoke catless exhaust. Yes, we are fully aware of the laws surrounding the removal of catalytic converters, as this car will be for off-road purposes only, competing in both SEMA’s contests and a time attack racing series thereafter. Follow your local laws, folks. And have a great weekend!